I don't have a clue what I am going to write but I am sure I will come up with something .
I was just thinking about myself and what I am as a person , why do I not respond or why I do respond in a particular way to people around me and their talks , why or why do I not really get affected by most and get deeply affected by certain persons only . Its a Big question to me as to why I have turned out to be what I am right now , was I always this way or did circumstances change me to be this way , whichever the case , Is this for good or bad ? The strange or mysterious ways of Life confuses me too much . I see the way becoming more and more mellow which I know is not good . There are times when I seem to crawl into a shell of my own and be aloof of the world around me . This world where I am in constant conversation with God , asking Him questions that have no definite answers . I see myself living more in this dream world than in reality . All I ever think of is being with Her and I know that its not what she wants . Why did it have to be this way , Why couldn't everything go back to the way it was , the way i dreamt , the Perfect way .