Sunday, January 17, 2010

Meaningless Quest


As i am sitting ,waiting for the journey home to get over,so i can just go crash onto my bed, a thought just ran in my mind ,it was not something that i wanted to think right now,but it just happened this way.I am wondering ,was i meant to be this way ,deprived from everything that i really wanted ,then i realized ,it was me ,myself who distanced from everything n everyone i loved ...but why ?I have no clue as to why i would 've done such a thing ...no answers in my head.. no sense of direction at certain times with respect to my actions .All i really know is that i am no longer the same person i used to be , i have changed so drastically that at times even i myself wonder if its me who is doing all this ,i really am amazed that transformations in human mind is so diverse and complicated that a soft and sensible thinking person can become so cold and ruthless .The very essense of my life has been changed to something that i never could ve imagined few years back ,I have lost and found so much and tried to grasp what i really wanted with all my strength
and focussed on it completely but at some weak moment i didnt realize that i let go of it so easily , everything around me , everyone around me feels so strange at times , i feel like i am surrounded by strangers whom i knew so well ....its so contradicting .. There are moments when i really crave for some love and affection , but then i know for fact i am expecting something that i really dont deserve...I let go off everything that i wanted thinking that it will come back to me , by the time i understood the reality that it was never meant to be ...its too late.This journey of Life is so much full of potholes and bad roads and extreme uphill and narrow bends that by the time this journey ends ....i dont where i will be .....all i wish is that i have a good companion who can be my navigator ,someone whom i can rely on with my life ....
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