Monday, January 18, 2010

What is it that i want most in life at this very precise moment

What is it that i want most in life at this very precise moment

That's the question that i am trying to find an answer to , it is a very simple question ,however the answer seems to be the most complicated one which i am trying really hard to make myself understand .
The Question that i have been asked to answer is about that one most crucial thing that i feel would complete my  existence at this point or turn in my life. I have been however given choices , i would say multiple choices - be it spiritual , mental , material or even professional .... you who read this might think that its more easier this way but then the concern is that when you have choices ...lots of choices , the choice in itself becomes difficult .

Getting back to what i really want or what really completes my so called existence , I don't  have a definite answer to one thing in particular , but i do know that whatever it is that i do in my life , if i do it wholeheartedly i would be most happiest as i will not regret it someday when i look back at my life .

There have been a zillion things that i have craved for in my life apart from - care , love , sense of completion , respect , success but then time & self realisation has taught me that you dont get everything that you really want .

Sunday, January 17, 2010

IF

If you could feel what I feel for YOU...
If you could come little bit closer to me...
If you could see these tears in my eyes...
If you could listen to those words...unspoken
If you could feel my breath...
If you could read my mind...
If you could realize the pain  I  have in me all the time...
If you could be here with me now...
If you could show me the meaning of love instead of being lonely...
If you could take my feelings away...
If you could stop the beating of my heart....

"If ....If....if.... it ll remain forever... this " IF " would stick with me forever..."What would I do .... If Only .... You could be Mine Forever....

YOU


You are not Yourself, When You are in that shell...

You are not Yourself, When You are so quiet...

You are not Yourself, When You are not with me ...

You are not Yourself, When You don't look into my eyes...

You are not Yourself, When You don't feel my breath...

You are not Yourself, When You are not around me ...

You are not Yourself, When You are..... You are not Mine ....Anymore ....

.....


As this day begins ,I know not what it holds for me ,
As this day begins, I know not if i will make it till the end.
I really don't know how or where I am Gonna begin this journey.
All i know is that i follow the path that has been laid for me to tread on..
Every step that i take feels like an Eternity ...
Every Breath that i take feels like the last one ...
I see that light at the end of the tunnel which is more like you....know not if its you whom i am looking for ...feels you're my destiny ....but then ......

Meaningless Quest


As i am sitting ,waiting for the journey home to get over,so i can just go crash onto my bed, a thought just ran in my mind ,it was not something that i wanted to think right now,but it just happened this way.I am wondering ,was i meant to be this way ,deprived from everything that i really wanted ,then i realized ,it was me ,myself who distanced from everything n everyone i loved ...but why ?I have no clue as to why i would 've done such a thing ...no answers in my head.. no sense of direction at certain times with respect to my actions .All i really know is that i am no longer the same person i used to be , i have changed so drastically that at times even i myself wonder if its me who is doing all this ,i really am amazed that transformations in human mind is so diverse and complicated that a soft and sensible thinking person can become so cold and ruthless .The very essense of my life has been changed to something that i never could ve imagined few years back ,I have lost and found so much and tried to grasp what i really wanted with all my strength
and focussed on it completely but at some weak moment i didnt realize that i let go of it so easily , everything around me , everyone around me feels so strange at times , i feel like i am surrounded by strangers whom i knew so well ....its so contradicting .. There are moments when i really crave for some love and affection , but then i know for fact i am expecting something that i really dont deserve...I let go off everything that i wanted thinking that it will come back to me , by the time i understood the reality that it was never meant to be ...its too late.This journey of Life is so much full of potholes and bad roads and extreme uphill and narrow bends that by the time this journey ends ....i dont where i will be .....all i wish is that i have a good companion who can be my navigator ,someone whom i can rely on with my life ....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A wilted leaf

It was a brigt new day , as the sun shone through the early morning sky filed with clouds , a beautiful sight indeed for most of the early birds.
For the li'l bird that was still in its nest the new day just began, the first glimpse it had was of this bright leaf that was right next to its nest , the sunlight gleaming through the small dew drop at its tip, little did the bird know that it was the last day on earth for this leaf .
The day started with all the buzz of a regular day ...the sun shining high in the sky by late afternoon, the bird perched at the tip of the nest just wondering and admiring at everything around it ....Until late in the evening things went pretty fne when from no where this heavy breeze comes along and just blows the leaf along with it ,out ofthe branches , out of the li'l bird's view...it was completely .......gone.....


Incomplete for now .....

....

There is a point in every Individual's Life when they realise that everything  around them feels inadequate .
Its like there is everything that needs to be there but then it feels incomplete.
Things that they craved for and always wanted is right here but then something, something really important is missing,more or less like a puzzle once solved ,still doesn't give a complete picture .....