Friday, October 29, 2010

1

I am on my way to the beach with my dog walking beside me ,
through the small trail behind the line of trees ,
the wind blows so gently yet the trees sway 
like a melodious tune is being played and they are dancing to it,
the soft sand under my feet makes me feel
closer to the earth , which i am part of ,
the lush green grass looks like a carpet been laid to welcome me ,
i hear the birds in the distance ,
the gentle waves simmering down as they come closer,

The Beginning Of the End

The scar is hard to erase, 
wounds take forever to heal, 
memories fade away with time, 
thoughts change patterns, 
Numbness evolves.

As time passes,
everything around us changes,
nothing is simple anymore,
The shell around us grows stronger.

Faith has turned meaningless to the faithful,
Emotions are unfelt,
Relationships have lost their virtue,
The value of life has diminished,

Love no longer exists !


The Basic values of Life or the very essence of our known Life is changing to something that we cannot define anymore.
Evolution Backwards ! is that what this is ...
The Significance of our existence is hanging on loose  moral fibers  of this present day generation.
What we perceive to be progress is in itself degeneration of Human Race.
Ethics , Liberty , Freedom remains as just some words in a Dictionary.



Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Questions

I don't have a clue what I am going to write but I am sure I will come up with something .

I was just thinking about myself and what I am as a person , why do I not respond or why I do respond in a particular way to people around me and their talks , why or why do I not really get affected by most and get deeply affected by certain persons only . Its a Big question to me as to why I have turned out to be what  I am right now , was I always this way or did circumstances change me to be this way , whichever the case , Is this for good or bad ? The strange or mysterious ways of Life confuses me too much . I see the way becoming more and more mellow which I know is not good . There are times when I seem to crawl into a shell of my own and be aloof of the world around me . This world where I am in constant conversation with God , asking Him questions that have no definite answers . I see myself living more in this dream world than in reality . All I ever think of is being with Her and I know that its not what she wants . Why did it have to be this way , Why couldn't everything go back to the way it was , the way i dreamt , the Perfect way .

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Emotions

I am not going to explain what is the actual meaning of emotion, anyone can look it up in a dictionary or google . I am trying to analyze the role of emotions in our life . The reason I chose the topic to write is because as an individual I  have always been said to be a very emotional person. not really sure what is causing everyone or most of them to come up with this conclusion.

The perception that people around me has always varied from time to time, but "emotional"is something that i don't really approve of , they don't even know me well enough to call me that. thinking about it in a deeper sense the question arises , Does being emotional really indicate any negativity in a person ? I would say not .

We are what we are and emotions define our existence .

You

What is it that you have done to me , I don't seem to realise ,
What is it that I have become , I dont seem to realise ,
What is it that you make me do , I don't seem to realise ,
What is it that you make me think , I don't seem to realise ,
But all I seem to realise is that I am in Love with you .

You bring a sense of completion in me ,

Sunday, April 4, 2010

My Feelings .....Random

I feel its one of those days when everything around me seems so strange or I would prefer to say that I feel out of place with respect to anything , there is nothing out of extraordinary that seems to be happening but everything still feels so different . Is it just me or everyone around me .I feel so alienated , yeah thats the word ,might seem strange but thats how I feel . Late realization one may say , I feel I am Focusing too much on Something or Someone who really doesn't care , Prioritizing Something or Someone over everything else around you is not so easy but again not impossible , concern or question is what is the end result . Everyone can and does fall in Love at some point or the other , everyone is capable of showing enough Love ,how many do actually get in return the same amount of Love and affection that they show towards others . I keep Questioning Myself , Why do I keep doing this over and over again . I Know for fact that I do Love this Special Someone in My Life right now more than anything , its beyond the realms of words or worlds , Maybe I don't express it in the way its expected to be done .I am ready to sacrifice everything to get some return of Love and Affection from this Special Person , I do know that I am not asking for too much because when i did really try and be okay with everything what this person expected me to be like , I was said to be Uncaring or not bothered,that was not the case in reality though.My Loyalty was put to test , even though I Didn't do anything wrong , I was Blamed for Lying or keeping the truth . If I have made mistakes I deserve to be given opportunities to correct myself or better Myself .I really hate being " Ignored " , it makes me feel terrible , hate being treated like a Nobody , not that it happens all the time but still I don't like it ,least of all take it .I don't want to be Just an Option or a Temporary . Thats not what its meant to be .I am Happy and Glad when I am appreciated for the things that I do or for what I am .I am More than happy when I am cared for and treated as a part of something , Relationships need constant nurture and taking care of so it doesn't lose its charm or strength .I am not expecting too much but yes definitely something . It used to make me come alive when I still used to see those small messages full of Love and Care and affection but seems like ages since I have got One .

Monday, February 22, 2010

Imagnation

Imagination can be a lot of things to different people , its something that knows no bounds .
Life without imagination cannot be even be thought of ..., Imagination is like color to a photograph , it brings it to life of what could be a dull picture . Logic holds no boundaries in the world of Imagination.Nothing is Impossible in the world of imagination , visions can bring forth life into everything and turn everything to a totally new level.
What is that one thing that all of us can imagine but never really comprehend ...Do we really have an answer to that Question ? As a mater of fact we dont , simple reason being imagination does not have restrictions based on anything , everyone has their own unique world in their own minds, wherein they can be everything that their heart desires.

Monday, January 18, 2010

What is it that i want most in life at this very precise moment

What is it that i want most in life at this very precise moment

That's the question that i am trying to find an answer to , it is a very simple question ,however the answer seems to be the most complicated one which i am trying really hard to make myself understand .
The Question that i have been asked to answer is about that one most crucial thing that i feel would complete my  existence at this point or turn in my life. I have been however given choices , i would say multiple choices - be it spiritual , mental , material or even professional .... you who read this might think that its more easier this way but then the concern is that when you have choices ...lots of choices , the choice in itself becomes difficult .

Getting back to what i really want or what really completes my so called existence , I don't  have a definite answer to one thing in particular , but i do know that whatever it is that i do in my life , if i do it wholeheartedly i would be most happiest as i will not regret it someday when i look back at my life .

There have been a zillion things that i have craved for in my life apart from - care , love , sense of completion , respect , success but then time & self realisation has taught me that you dont get everything that you really want .

Sunday, January 17, 2010

IF

If you could feel what I feel for YOU...
If you could come little bit closer to me...
If you could see these tears in my eyes...
If you could listen to those words...unspoken
If you could feel my breath...
If you could read my mind...
If you could realize the pain  I  have in me all the time...
If you could be here with me now...
If you could show me the meaning of love instead of being lonely...
If you could take my feelings away...
If you could stop the beating of my heart....

"If ....If....if.... it ll remain forever... this " IF " would stick with me forever..."What would I do .... If Only .... You could be Mine Forever....

YOU


You are not Yourself, When You are in that shell...

You are not Yourself, When You are so quiet...

You are not Yourself, When You are not with me ...

You are not Yourself, When You don't look into my eyes...

You are not Yourself, When You don't feel my breath...

You are not Yourself, When You are not around me ...

You are not Yourself, When You are..... You are not Mine ....Anymore ....

.....


As this day begins ,I know not what it holds for me ,
As this day begins, I know not if i will make it till the end.
I really don't know how or where I am Gonna begin this journey.
All i know is that i follow the path that has been laid for me to tread on..
Every step that i take feels like an Eternity ...
Every Breath that i take feels like the last one ...
I see that light at the end of the tunnel which is more like you....know not if its you whom i am looking for ...feels you're my destiny ....but then ......

Meaningless Quest


As i am sitting ,waiting for the journey home to get over,so i can just go crash onto my bed, a thought just ran in my mind ,it was not something that i wanted to think right now,but it just happened this way.I am wondering ,was i meant to be this way ,deprived from everything that i really wanted ,then i realized ,it was me ,myself who distanced from everything n everyone i loved ...but why ?I have no clue as to why i would 've done such a thing ...no answers in my head.. no sense of direction at certain times with respect to my actions .All i really know is that i am no longer the same person i used to be , i have changed so drastically that at times even i myself wonder if its me who is doing all this ,i really am amazed that transformations in human mind is so diverse and complicated that a soft and sensible thinking person can become so cold and ruthless .The very essense of my life has been changed to something that i never could ve imagined few years back ,I have lost and found so much and tried to grasp what i really wanted with all my strength
and focussed on it completely but at some weak moment i didnt realize that i let go of it so easily , everything around me , everyone around me feels so strange at times , i feel like i am surrounded by strangers whom i knew so well ....its so contradicting .. There are moments when i really crave for some love and affection , but then i know for fact i am expecting something that i really dont deserve...I let go off everything that i wanted thinking that it will come back to me , by the time i understood the reality that it was never meant to be ...its too late.This journey of Life is so much full of potholes and bad roads and extreme uphill and narrow bends that by the time this journey ends ....i dont where i will be .....all i wish is that i have a good companion who can be my navigator ,someone whom i can rely on with my life ....

Tuesday, January 12, 2010

A wilted leaf

It was a brigt new day , as the sun shone through the early morning sky filed with clouds , a beautiful sight indeed for most of the early birds.
For the li'l bird that was still in its nest the new day just began, the first glimpse it had was of this bright leaf that was right next to its nest , the sunlight gleaming through the small dew drop at its tip, little did the bird know that it was the last day on earth for this leaf .
The day started with all the buzz of a regular day ...the sun shining high in the sky by late afternoon, the bird perched at the tip of the nest just wondering and admiring at everything around it ....Until late in the evening things went pretty fne when from no where this heavy breeze comes along and just blows the leaf along with it ,out ofthe branches , out of the li'l bird's view...it was completely .......gone.....


Incomplete for now .....

....

There is a point in every Individual's Life when they realise that everything  around them feels inadequate .
Its like there is everything that needs to be there but then it feels incomplete.
Things that they craved for and always wanted is right here but then something, something really important is missing,more or less like a puzzle once solved ,still doesn't give a complete picture .....

Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Journey

As I continue this journey called life, I have come to cherish each day. There are so many experiences in life to enjoy. These experiences are enhanced when shared with that special someone. To see, hear, touch, and feel life is very important .

Saturday, August 15, 2009

Venting Out .....

I have no clue why i am even writing anything today , its seems like the day when everything that I believed in , all the values , the principles everything including the trust and faith just came crashing down like a tidal wave .
I learnt one important lesson today ...again for the second time ... Have No expectations from others , they will always give up on you when you least expect it .
I feel like a lost soul which I am destined to be ...
But then again , who knows , this might be for a reason , a good one as I try thinking positively but I so am not sure that it is ...
The Famous saying which goes like "When God Closes a Door , He Opens Another One " doesn't seem to be working , at-least not in this situation or time .
Everything around me seem to be shunning me , so is everyone.
Do i really deserve this or the actual question is am I so undeserving .... I have no answer .
Is it not Normal or Human to make Mistakes .
Never Love anything or anybody too much .
Too Much of sacrificing does not yield to anything , Just your loss .
At-least in my case thats how it seems .

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Memories

Memories .......Everybody has something to remember ,good ones , bad ones .... even unforgettable ones ...... not that i m gonna write about them now ....

Talking about memories , the first thing that comes to my mind are the days of my school ...Those were really the best days of my life that i can remember or actually never forget.

Life used to be so different ,little things used to make a huge difference ,everything seemed so big , class test used to be such a big deal to prod over ....getting the attention of your favorite teacher was like an achievement , being known in your friend circles was such a big thing ....
There were days you really dreaded waking up in the early hours to get ready and go to school ... kept cribbing to myself till i reached and the moment i was with my buddies , everything used to change ...
Everybody had different dreams , goals ,aspirations in life ... and there was our gang of friends , we never bothered much about the future ... still remember the time we used to hang out in the cafeteria and chatting about this and that ...nothing important though mostly girls or cars or gadgets ...guy's stuff ... or sometimes rarely though about dreams and aims of life ....
anyways it didn't really matter what you spoke about ...the only thing that mattered to us was that we were around people we wanted to be with -Friends .

Sitting in the classroom , waiting for that boring hour to get over with or may be waiting for the computer practicals to begin or waiting for the P.T class to start .... all this while just gazing through the window at the playground watching others playing basket ball or just running around ...somethings are there in our minds forever ....

Sometimes when you meet your old buddies from school and end up talking about school , those good old days back in school which is the only thing that we end up talking about , you just so badly wish you were back in those times , away from all these tensions and worries of the present life , you end up laughing or smiling just remembering those moments ...
There's always something that each one of us wants to add up to those conversation about the school days , there's always been a teacher's pet , sport star of the school , the prankster in the class , the talkative guy/girl, the quiet person ... somebody some where to talk about ....

it just doesn't leave your mind at all ....that's what they are Memories ...Sweet memories .

Thursday, August 14, 2008

Expectations



There are so many things that i've always felt to be really important in my life , but as i lay gazing at my window , the sun shone in my eyes and took me into this trance ... initially i didn't know what i was thinking , slowly i started seeing myself few years ago ... i remembered how happy i used to be .. i remembered that i never took unnecessary worries about my future , my career , my life ... i used to live life the way it came ... i had very few expectations in life ...be it from friends , family , relationships and even life for that matter . but slowly as life moved on ... things or i might say reality dawned on me .... expectations from me got higher n higher .... family members started having too many expectations all of a sudden .... responsibilities got bigger , relationships got colder due to expectation again , pressure at work , things just changed all too soon .

i thought something was wrong with me and started expecting lesser n lesser ,
i even told everyone around me that i don't expect anything in return from them , for quite sometime i was okay with it .... just giving in 100% of myself and expecting nothing in return until i slowly started to slack , started to feel lonely and left out , i felt i wasn't myself anymore ...
i felt like life s missing out lot of things or rather i was missing lot of important things in life , i started staying away from friends n family ...

i read this blog today which is instigating me to change back to the person what i was .... i feel much better already ...

Saturday, April 26, 2008



What is life all about ?
Where is Life taking you ?
Where is it that you are taking your life ?
What is it that you want most from this life that you are leading ?

Questions that you ever keep wondering and never get an answer to .Life seems so simple and easy when things work out the way you like it or the way you desire .Sometimes its so strange that the same moments that you really thought would make you feel happy or glad about would turn out to be so complicated or difficult to fathom.

Do we really have answers to most of the questions that we have in our minds ?
Our minds are so much dazzled by certain things that we really don't require in our lives . Its really not that important for us to have all that creature comforts that we struggle so much to attain , its always been known to man that we can survive with the most basic of things in life . Just that we never get satisfied with what we have and we keep craving for more and more . The simplest essentials that we need to lead a good life ,to survive like food , water and shelter is no longer what we look for in this present day . The new generation looks for Position , Respect ,Technology ,Power and fun .
Life has taken a turn wherein no one is concerned about loyalty, friendship , relationship or feelings .
There's been a drastic change in the way we look at life , There's a exceptional change in everyone's perception of life these days .


Truthfulness , Honesty, Chivalry - Do these qualities still exist in us these days ?

The real good qualities that we were imbibed with as kids , do we still have them inside us ,

Are we still expected to show sincerity , honesty and all the other good attributes that we learnt in life ? The fast paced life of today's world has changed things around us in a severe way . People don't have time to talk to each other , forget meeting up in person.
You don't see a Guy opening a door for a lady anymore , you don't get to see a youngster leaving a seat for an elderly in a bus or a train or anywhere ,hardly get to see a person helping a starnger with anything at all . We no longer are honest with ourselves , forget others in our lives.